Making the best use of your inner team

Posted on March 2, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

Have you ever thought about your “inner team”? Everyone has one, and it is a good idea to get to know them and have them all on your side.

What am I talking about? Your inner team are those voices and personalities you have within you. The inner critic, who is all too quick to point out to you when you do something wrong. The cautious character, who warns you against doing anything outside your comfort zone. The personality who loves starting new things, has lots of ideas, but who gets bored quickly.

We all have an inner team, comprising any number of characters. Listen over the next few days to the thoughts or voices going through your head. Identify who is talking and listen to what they say.

For you to be effective, you need to know who is in your team, and work on getting them on your side. This sounds simple, but how often does your inner critic get in the way of you doing something that you know you want to, and once the opportunity is gone, you wish you had?

As you get to know your team, identify each character, perhaps even giving them a name. Then ask yourself the following questions as you consider each one:-

  • What is the benefit of this character? Why is it important?
  • What is the positive intention of this character?
  • What does this character want or need?
  • What do other characters need to do to meet this individual’s needs?

Each member of your team has a role. It is up to you to listen to each and ensure that they are being heard. For instance, when dealing with the inner critic you can listen to it next time it says “I told you that you were no good at that”, and reply “thank you for your opinion, I know you are trying to stop me making a fool of myself by making mistakes, but I am going to give this a go anyway”.

Get to know your “inner team”, they all have a part to play in helping you be more effective.

 

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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Lent – I’ve found an extra hour in my day!

Posted on February 28, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

I am not a particularly “religious” person, however I do like to give something up for Lent. I find the time scale easier than New Year’s Resolutions, when you have to contemplate giving something up for ever! For ever is too long for me, but six and half weeks I can do.

In the past I have given up smoking, drinking and chocolate for Lent (and in some cases longer!). However, this year I am really excited as I have given up watching TV before 9pm. I watch too much “crap” TV particularly in the winter when it is dark outside. I want to stop, and Lent seems the perfect time to start this change of habit.

So for the next six and half weeks I will have at least one hour extra in my day. What will I do? More work? Reading? Talking on the phone? Housework? Blogging? Cooking? Exercise? Who knows ……..  I am really looking forward to it.

Please comment below and let me know what you have given up for Lent.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

 

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Look at what you have done, not only at what is still to do

Posted on February 26, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

How often do you get to the end of the day or week and look at all the things you have not done? When you look at your “to-do list” do you see what you have crossed off, or only what is outstanding?

It is important that you recognise what you have achieved each day and week, however small. If you deny yourself this recognition you make it harder to create momentum.

Action creates energy which in turn creates momentum. However, if you don’t acknowledge and recognise your actions then you will be missing out on the energy that your achievements can create.

Recently I was talking to my coach about how slowly things were moving for me on a couple of projects. However, when we looked at it I was doing all that I could and moving things along nicely. My perception had been that the projects had not been completed, nothing was happening and I was feeling negative about it! My perception was wrong and was creating a negative mind-set.

I learned the importance of this from Christine Kane recently. She calls this “The Law of Completion” and stresses the importance of reflecting on what you achieve each day to create positive energy.

So at the end of each day and week, make time acknowledge what you did achieve. This will give you a sense of action, energy and build the momentum you need.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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31 posts in 31 days! The Ultimate Blog Challenge

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

Well, I made it! 31 posts in 31 days with the Ultimate Blog Challenge, and what a wonderful experience it has been. I’ve learned so much, found new sources of inspiration and information from my blogging colleagues, made time to post all through the month, made new friends and I’ve increased by blog traffic by over 500%! Not bad for one month.

So a great start to 2012 for me, and I would recommend anyone who could do with any of the above, to get involved in the next Ultimate Blog Challenge.

I can particularly recommend the following blogs which I have enjoyed reading over the last month:-

Forward Steps Self Improvement Blog – Thea Westra

The Tall Poppy Project – Kylie

Excellerate You – Madonna Robinson

Happy Mind Formula – Tracey Carmichael

Get Ya Juice On – Bridget Jane

Self Discovery Coaching – Karen Williams

Support Local Living – Sam Nordberg

Day in the Life of a Busy Gal – Sharon Howard

And if you are looking for a VA – Writer’s Block Admin Services – Jo Harrison

I hope that you have enjoyed reading this blog over the past month. Rest assured that I will be posting regularly in the future too!

If you want to find out more about my work and how I help people who are suffering stress, especially stress at work, sign-up for my free e-course, visit my Facebook Page or follow me on Twitter.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

 

 

 

 

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Stressed at work? do you get enough support?

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

Stress in the workplace is on the rise, and if stress is affecting you, you are in the right place. This post is the last in a series of six which will enable you to discover exactly what is causing stress for you at work. Once you know what the problem is, then you can take action to sort it out.

StressThe first post was – Stressed at work? – Do you have too much to do?- if you haven’t read it, then check it out before proceeding through this post.

This post looks at the support you receive at work from your organisation, line managers and colleagues. It is vital that you receive all the support you need to do your job effectively.

Answer the questions below “Yes” or “No”.

Support from your manager

  • Are you given supportive feedback on the work you do?
  • Can you rely on your line manager to help you out with a work problem?
  • Can you talk to your line manager about something that has upset or annoyed you about work?
  • Are you supported through emotionally demanding work?
  • Does your line manager encourage you at work?

StressSupport from your colleagues

  • If work gets difficult, do your colleagues help you?
  • Do you get the help and support you need from colleagues?
  • Do you receive the respect at work you deserve from your colleagues?
  • Are your colleagues are willing to listen to your work-related problems?

Organisational support

  • Does your organisation have policies and procedures to adequately support employees?
  • Are systems in place to enable and encourage managers to support their staff?
  • Are systems in place to enable and encourage employees to support their colleagues?
  • Do you know what support is available and how and when to access it?
  • Do you know how to access the required resources to do your job?
  • Do you receive regular and constructive feedback?
  • Do you know how to prioritise, or how to seek help if you have conflicting priorities?
  • Have you received training on time management, prioritisation, assertiveness etc?

StressThese questions are designed to help you identify whether you are lacking any support at work. Look at the questions where you have answered “No”. Do these points strike a chord with you? Can you put these on the list of what is causing you stress at work?

Over these six posts, you have now built a list of all the factors which are causing you stress at work. While you are at work in the coming days, continue to notice what is going on around you, and add points to your list when you have identified a cause of stress.

Further posts this week will explain how you can start tackling this stress.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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Stressed at work? How are your workplace relationships?

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

Stress in the workplace is on the rise, and if stress is affecting you, you are in the right place. This post is the fifth in a series of six which will enable you to discover exactly what is causing stress for you at work. Once you know what the problem is, then you can take action to sort it out.

StressThe first post was – Stressed at work? – Do you have too much to do?- if you haven’t read it, then check it out before proceeding through this post.

This post looks at relationships in the workplace, and how well your organisation deals with conflict and unacceptable behaviour.

Answer the following questions “Yes” or “No”:-

  • Are you subject to personal harassment in the form of unkind words or behaviour?
  • Is there friction or anger between colleagues?
  • Are you subject to bullying at work?
  • Are your relationships at work strained?

Make a note of the questions where you have answered  “Yes”.

  • Does your organisation promote positive behaviours at work to avoid conflict and ensure fairness?
  • Do your colleagues share information relevant to theirs and your work?
  • Does your organisation have agreed policies and procedures to prevent or resolve unacceptable behaviour?
  • Are systems in place to enable and encourage managers to deal with unacceptable behaviour?
  • Are systems in place to enable and encourage employees to report unacceptable behaviour?

StressMake a note of the questions where you have answered  “No”.

These questions are designed to help you identify whether any relationships at work are causing you stress. Look at the questions where you have answered “Yes” amongst the first statements and “No” in second list. Do these points strike a chord with you? Can you put these on the list of what is causing you stress at work? You will continue to build the list with the final post tomorrow. While you are at work in the coming days, notice what is going on around you, and add points to your list when you have identified a cause of stress.

The final post will help you think about how much support you receive at work, and whether it is enough for you.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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Stressed at work? – are you clear about your role?

Posted on January 29, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

Stress in the workplace is on the rise. This post is the fourth in a series of six which will enable you to discover exactly what is causing stress for you at work. Once you know what the problem is, then you can take action to sort it out.

StressThe first post was – Stressed at work? – Do you have too much to do?- if you haven’t read it, then check it out before proceeding through this post.

Today you are going to look at how clear you are about your role at work. This is an issue I come across often with clients. When we start to look at what is going on, it becomes apparent that they are not clear about what is expected of them at work. This can cause an enormous amount of stress. It is also important that you don’t have conflicting roles in your job.

Answer the following questions Yes” or “No”:-

  • Are you clear what is expected of you at work?
  • Do you know how to go about getting your job done?
  • Are you clear what your duties and responsibilities are?
  • Are you clear about the goals and objectives for your department?
  • Do you understand how your work fits into the overall aim of the organisation?
  • Does your organisation ensure that, as far as possible, the different requirements it places upon you are compatible?
  • Does your organisation provide information to enable you to understand your role and responsibilities?
  • Does your organisation ensures that, as far as possible, the requirements it places upon you are clear
  • Are there systems in place to enable you to raise concerns about any uncertainties or conflicts you have in your role and responsibilities?

StressMake a note of the questions where you have answered “No”.

These questions are designed to help you identify whether you are clear about what is expected of you in your job. Look at the questions that you have answered “No” to. Do these points strike a chord with you? Can you put these on the list of what is causing you stress at work? You will continue to building the list over the next couple of days. While you are at work in the coming days, notice what is going on around you, and add points to your list when you have identified a cause of stress.

Next time you will be looking at how your work relationships may be causing you stress.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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Busywork – how do you spend your day?

Posted on January 29, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

Work falls into three categories according to Michael Bungay Stanier* “Bad Work, Good Work and Great Work.” This approach can be extended to activities in general.

Stress

Bad, Good or Great Work?

“Bad Work” is doing things that really make no difference, yet take up time and energy. They are the sort of tasks that would make you think “what am I doing this for?” if you were to question yourself.

“Good Work” are tasks that need to be done, probably on a routine basis. The problem with Good Work is that it is never ending and it does not stretch you, challenge you or give you much satisfaction. You can spend all week on Good Work, and when you look back you probably won’t remember what you have done, all you know is that you were very busy!

“Great Work” are activities that really make a difference. They challenge you, get your creative juices flowing, make you feel alive and purposeful. Great Work can be frightening as well as exciting, as it involves taking risks and pushing yourself.

Stress

Bad, Good or Great Work?

So how much time do you spend each week on Bad, Good and Great Work? It is important to recognise everything you do for what it is. If you are spending no time on Great Work, then you need to think about what is going on.

Good Work can take over, there is always more to do. You are being busy so you think that you are doing your best. However, Good Work is deceptive, it is not satisfying, you are tired from doing all the time with nothing to show for it. Good Work is dangerous and can trap us into a never ending cycle of dull activity.

In his download “Stop the busywork! 7 Counter-Intuitive Ways to Find More Time, Space & Courage to Do Great Work”, Michael Bungay Stanier shares some great ways to stop being busy and start being productive!

Download Michael Bungay Stanier’s thoughts here – 68.03.GreatWork

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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The Wheel of Fortune – life is always changing

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

‘Nothing endures but change’ wrote Heraclitus in 500BC. Change happens all through your life whether you like it or not, and whether you instigate it or not. Sometimes you will embrace change easily, other times change will be more unsettling and challenging.

StressChange is what allows us to discover new opportunities and grow, so change is necessary, however it can be uncomfortable. The trick is to understand and trust that the cycle of life is continuous. Wherever you are on the cycle in relation to a specific part of your life, it is moving forward.

The Wheel of Fortune shows us this continuous cycle of life. The top of the wheel, at the “12 o’clock” position, is Happiness and where you want to be. Life is normal, things are going well, you are succeeding, you have a routine that works, you are comfortable with life.

When the Wheel shifts a quarter round clockwise, the position at “3 o’clock” is the Position of Loss. This is a period of distress. You are being challenged to let go of the routine that worked, and the things that you know. The natural reaction is to want to reverse the wheel and get back to where you were.

StressHowever, the wheel only moves forward in a clockwise motion, so it will continue through the position of Loss.

When the wheel turns again to “6 o’clock”, this is the position of Suffering. Everything is up-side down, you can’t see forwards. This is a period of transition, you fully experience the loss you have just had, feel despair and loss of hope. There may be tension, stress, anxiety, worry, frustration, anger and sadness.

The only certainty is that the period of suffering will end because the wheel keeps turning. The next position at “9 o’clock” is that of Hope. You can see forward again, you have new plans and progress is being made, you feel confident.

Understanding this wheel of fortune can help you understand where you are in various aspects of your life. Your family wheel may be at a different place from your health or work wheel.

StressThe cycle of change is happening all the time, it cannot be rushed, and you can’t skip through any of the positions. You have to go through the loss, the suffering and the hope, to get back to happiness again.

Trusting the cycle can be a comfort. When you are in the positions of Loss and Suffering, allow yourself time to go through these phases, and trust that you will get to the position of Hope and Happiness once more.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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Stressed at work? – do you have enough control in your job?

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Charlie Damonsing

Stress in the workplace is on the rise. This post is the third in a series of six which will enable you to discover exactly what is causing stress for you at work. Once you know what the problem is, then you can take action to sort it out.

Stress

How much control do you want?

The first post was – Stressed at work? – Do you have too much to do?- if you haven’t read it, then check it out before proceeding through this post.

Today you are going to consider how much control you have in your job. Control is an interesting question. Some people are happy to be told exactly what to do, when and how to do it. However, maybe you are stressed by how little control you have over your work.

Answer these questions “Yes” or “No”:-

  • Can you decide when to take a break?
  • Do you have a say in your own work speed?
  • Do you have a choice in deciding how you do your work?
  • Do you have a choice in deciding what you do at work?
  • Do you have some say over the way you work?
  • Are you encouraged to use your skills and initiative to do your work?
  • Are you encouraged to develop new skills to help you undertake new and challenging pieces of work?
  • Do your organisation encourages you to develop your skills?
  • Are you consulted over your work patterns?
Stress

Do you want more control?

If you answered “No” to any of these questions, make a note.

These questions are designed to help you identify whether you have the amount of control you want in your job. Look at the questions that you have answered “No” to. Do these points strike a chord with you? Can you put these on the list of what is causing you stress at work? You will be building the list over the next two weeks. While you are at work in the coming days, notice what is going on around you, and add points to your list when you have identified a cause of stress.

Next time you will be looking at how your role may be affecting you at work.

Charlie Damonsing specialises in helping people sort out their stress. If you want to stop the stress in your life, sign-up for the free e-course 7 Simple Steps to Sorting Out Your Stress www.everythingstresscourse.co.uk

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